How to manage up: getting what you need from your manager

Managers are supposed to support you to do your best work, but sometimes it feels like they’re actually preventing you from getting the job done. That’s when you need to learn how to manage up.

Maybe they’re constantly speaking for you in meetings or spending your 1:1s rambling about their dramatic personal life, but either way, it’s taking up too much of your time, energy and will to live.

You need to learn how to manage your manager – here’s exactly how to do it.

The overbearing manager

Symptoms: constantly asking for updates, expecting you to account for every minute of your working day, speaking over or for you in meetings

Diagnosis: micromanager

What to do: Micromanagers are usually so overbearing because of insecurity – they don’t trust others to do the work “correctly” and want you to do everything in the exact same way they would.

The best way to manage the micromanager is by pre-empting what they’re going to be nitpicky about. If they’re always asking you what you’re working on that day, send them a quick email summary when you start work. If they’re constantly pestering you for updates on projects, send an update report each week (tip: doing this is actually good practice if you share the report with stakeholders as well, it’ll build your reputation as someone who is proactive).

Unfortunately, micromanagers are the most unbearable to work for, so if you’re in this situation my main recommendation is to find a job elsewhere if you can.

The insecure manager

Symptoms: always complaining about their job/life/hair, unclear whether they’re giving you a task to do or asking if you can do something, trying to show that they’re “just one of the team” at every opportunity

Diagnosis: needs to get out of their head and maybe touch some grass

What to do: If you have an insecure manager, it’s more irritating than anything, and I know that might sound a little harsh. Here’s the thing, though: I don’t think managers should be bringing their personal problems to the team they lead. Their job is to help you do your job, and if they have issues with their own job, they need to complain up, not down. It’s just poor leadership (this was my experience with my last manager, so that might be why I seem extra exasperated by it).

The best way to manage an insecure manager is not to pander to them. If they start whining about their workload, a simple “that sounds stressful, you should probably speak to your manager about it” should do the trick.

The absent manager

Symptoms: Teams status is always yellow, always postponing your 1:1s, you’re constantly chasing them for replies and approvals

Diagnosis: a nasty case of CBA

What to do: On the surface, an absentee manager is the dream. You’re pretty much left alone to get on with things. Until, that is, a situation arises that’s above your pay grade and they’re nowhere to be found. Or you want to discuss your career progression and they keep skipping your 1:1s.

However, you can use the absentee manager to your advantage and take the opportunity to show up as a leader yourself. Taking initiative to arrange meetings with stakeholders, create your own project reports and share updates in the way you think is best, and make sure the work you’re doing is visible to the directors and influential colleagues you work with.

Oh, and when something important is coming up and you suspect they won’t be around to help you, make sure you let them know in writing in advance – that way they can’t shift the blame on to you if they mysteriously disappear when you need them.